Someone I loved very much has ended their own life. I
will never truly know all that was happening in their
mind that brought them to that tragic choice.
However, there are things of which I can
be reasonably certain ...

--- If they were here, even they could not
fully explain their mindset or answer all of my
questions, - In their state of mind, they could not
have fully comprehended the reality of their own
death. -- They could not have fully apreciated the
devastating impact their suicide would have on the
people in their life. As such, by their last act,
they made their most tragic mistake, unknowingly
creating unparalleled pain in the hearts
of those whom they most loved.

The person I lost is beyond my help
now in every way but one: I can help them by working
to ease the pain they have caused and by not allowing
their most enduring legacy to be one of tragedy. They
benefit from this help whether or not I perceive them
as welcoming it, in the same way that we help the
aggressor whenever we nurse his victim -- by
minimizing the damage he has caused. As a result,
each and every day, I can help the person I lost by

... enjoying life, ... smiling and laughing, ... not
dwelling in feelings of sadness or remorse, ... loving
others, ... taking new steps in life toward positive
new horizons, ... helping those who feel their loss to
do the same, ... and, in short, not letting their
mistake continue to create sorrow, neither in the
world around me, nor in myself. I will try to picture
my lost loved one asking me to do this every day -- to
please help undo the damage they caused in whatever
little ways possible.

And I promise that I will.


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